Lose Yourself the First
by Cerridwen Aerin Ellorin
Summary: OK. A/U What happens if 3 Norns mess with the storyline and mixes all heroes and heroines up?! NOT the Eminem song. Squall + Garnet, please R/R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, VIII and IX. This is just a by-product of an overworked and over-harrassed writer suffering from insatiable lunacy. Comments, suggestions, praises are very highly appreciated. Oh, and be forewarned: this fic includes a little bit of Rinoa Heartilly and Tifa Lockhart bashing. Read on at your own risk. First of a triptych of stories, i.e. they're supposed to be read simultaneously at once…I mean, they're happening all at the same time…^^;; This is what happens when every deity in Asgard gets loony courtesy of good old Loki. Let's get ready to rumble!

Lose Yourself the First

(aka Squall Leonhart + Garnet Til Alexandros XIV[?!?])

It was one of those cloudy days when all of Asgard was crazier than 13 o'clock.

Urdur sighed.

"Hey, this is SOO boring. Why don't we go let Fenrir loose upon Sleipnir or something?"

"Sorry, no can do. I heard Lord Odin has tethered Sleipnir on those dreadful Lotus Fields again. He keeps forgetting Sleipnir forgets being a horse every time he gets to nibble on one of those lotus plants. He just rolls around like a very lovable dog." Verdandi checked her parchments. "Every single soul has been accounted for, and so we're left with nothing to do."

"Lord Loki's playing stupid tricks again," Skuld muttered. "He knows Lord Odin's pushing it, that was why he led him to those Lotus Fields down below. I think he's planning for the Allfather to forget he's the Lord of Valhalla and go hippie. I mean…he's been on the GRASS one time too MANY."

"What happened to Lady Frigg?"

"Taking tea with the Valkyries. I think Lord Loki slipped some of the lotus plant juice into her mead. The Lady DOES NOT drink tea with the VALKYRIES." Urdur sighed again. "They're supposed to be looking for Einherjars, and now they're taking tea with the LADY! I wonder what next?!"

"Lord Thor's been banging on his drum set too loudly. No wonder Heimdall's been running up and down the rainbow bridge like so like a headless chicken. He thinks the Frost Giants are ATTACKING." Verdandi scanned her rolled-up parchments. "Lady Freyja's having a nice talk, thank you, with Hel, and Lord Frey's been hitting on Iduna, talking her into making golden apple juice for EVERYBODY." 

Skuld blinked. "Have you the strangest feeling Lord Loki's involved in making them ALL crazy like THIS?!"

"He's always the fist one to become a crazed lunatic. I guess he's going after us NEXT."

"Not if WE can HELP it!" Urdur stood up, having a very determined gleam in her smoky gray eyes. "We have to do SOMETHING!"

"Something for the little LADIES, perhaps?"

The 3 Norns all jumped at once to see Loki standing there with a very wicked grin on his face.

"By Aesir! What are YOU doing HERE?!" Verdandi asked in surprise.

"Checking to see if my little plan worked. Hee, I guess it's all falling into place." Loki smiled even wickeder (^^;;). "How were those chocolates?"

****

***GASP!*** "You mean…?!"

"Laced with the finestlotus juice extract! Well, how are you all feeling?"

"…" Verdandi blinked.

"I feel SICK…" Skuld whimpered.

"I'm not going down with a bad case of diarrhea, you FIEND! Maybe that was why all the Aesir and Vanir are acting WEIRD!" SD Urdur waved an arm frantically over at Loki. "What are you planning to do, you demon?!""

"Isn't it pretty OBVIOUS? I want to get rid of ALL of you." Loki raised 3 CD cases and showed it to them. "Life has never been the same ever since you pesky dimwits have hogged the PLAYSTATION! This time you'll all be GETTING it!"

"B-but Lord Loki! Lord Odin has specifically stated that all non-entity personnel should only be allowed to touch the PSX when he's about to sleep…he's been trying to get past that black Chocobo over at the Gold Saucer and STILL he can't get past it!"

"HAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaHA! The Lotus Juice is WORKING! And who the heck is he KIDDING?! Odin does NOT sleep so he could have the PSX all to HIMSELF! He's just sore he lost to me on Street Fighter Zero 3…all the while I'm using DHALSIM!" Loki made a dash towards the gray nondescript console lying by the Yggdrasil where the Norns were tasked with writing the fates of all souls as well as writing onto the memory cards the games the rabid PSX Aesir and Vanir fanatics have been working on so hard to make a clear. "I WILL have my RINOA fix~~~!!!"

"NOOO~~~~!!!" SD Verdandi made a mad dash towards the PSX. "Get away from THERE~~~~!!!"

"You'll not have that RINOA FIX~~~!!!" SD Urdur yells, then dashed after Loki, her legs windmilling beneath her.

"What you're about to do is sheer SACRILEGE~~~!!!" SD Skuld yells last, making a dive towards Loki's feet.

It all happened in slow motion.

Loki tripped, his eyes becoming widely circular. Verdandi, Urdur, and Skuld could only watch with their mouths agape as the 3 CD cases flew through the air and were about to be shattered. In the ensuing confusion that followed (due to the fact that they were also high on lotus puree), the 3 Norns shrieked and there was a brilliant flash of light.

And the rest, as they say, was…uh…HISTORY.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Princess Garnet Til Alexandros XIV (I stand corrected here…^^;;) was just having one heck of a sighing marathon when Queen Brahne turned to look at her quite (un)kindly.

"You have to smile and act like a Princess. It is your 16th birthday, and these people have come from far and wide to greet you on your…VERY…special day."

"…yes, Mother."

"And DO stop sighing, it's not befitting a Princess of your rank."

Princess Garnet sighed. "Yes, Mother."

Queen Brahne grinned broadly at the audience, who were clapping wildly. "Yes! Thank you, thank you! I really appreciate your coming here! Thank you! Thank you very much!"

"…" Princess Garnet just sighed again and looked away. Adelbert Steiner, the captain of the Knights of Pluto, smiled slightly, then looked at the young Princess. He wanted to see her smiling, the Tantalus Troupe from the Regency of Lindblum was putting on a really great show of the famous Lord Avon play "I Want To Be Your Canary" for her 16th birthday…but…she was quiet and sad.

"?" Steiner was puzzled. Isn't the Princess happy? She was the heir to the Alexandrian throne, and was most popular among the citizenry…why was she sad?

Well…it wasn't his place to think like the royal family anyway.

Princess Garnet had her hands clasped on her lap, thinking hard. She had lived all her life as a Princess, but somehow, she felt something was missing. She wanted to get away from it all…all the formalities…all the courtesies befitted for a Lady of high rank like her…it all felt so hollow. She wanted to become free.

***_Free…? You want to become free…?_***

Princess Garnet blinked.

***_Then my child, I shall free you of your troubles! But please excuse me, I need a really quick trip to a chamber pot my lotus puree's about to BURST!_***

There was a flash of light. 

FLLLOOOOOOMMMMPPPP.

Princess Garnet blinked again and felt herself land hard on a cold marble floor. She looked around, her hands balled up into tiny fists.

Everybody was staring back at her. Princess Garnet couldn't have been bothered by people staring at her, she gets stared at all the time…but then again, they wear wearing ODD clothes.

Really ODD clothes.

Since when did the Tantalus Troupe wear close-fitting dark blue outfits with weird intricate shoulder guards and chains? Is this some new form of the Lord Avon play?

But…

"…uh…" One of the closer guys to her gulped. "Are…you…lost…?"

Princess Garnet stared at him blankly.

LOST?

Maybe she was.

She had to get back to her mother. The Tantalus Troupe's becoming utterly ODD for her taste.

She got up from the floor, mustering all the remaining dignity as she can, then held her floor-length skirt up a tiny bit so she wouldn't trip on it. She hastily exited the huge parlor of sorts, and several guys who watched her leave let out low whistles of sheer admiration.

"They don't make 'em like THAT at Balamb…"

"She's HOT! I wonder who she is…?"

"Maybe she's an alien Princess! Her outfit's so out of this WORLD!"

Princess Garnet looked through the crowds that were slowly flooding the dance floor, looking for anybody, SOMEONE, familiar. The guys who watched her pass by stared at her; the Princess of the Holy Kingdom of Alexandria took no heed and still searched on for familiar sights.

Where was she? Where was her mother?

Any knights?

Soldiers?!?

Good Lord, she'll take a SERVANT!

But there was none.

Her heart filling with immense dread, Princess Garnet emerged at the balcony, tears streaming unknowingly down her beautiful, childlike face. She stood there like an ethereal dream: dressed in her immaculate, beautiful white gown, the crown of Alexandria upon her head, and the Falcon Claw glinting upon her breast.

It was then when she saw the shooting star.

It streaked past, drawing down the star-filled night sky like some blazing torch, and the Princess blinked. For some strange reason, it comforted her.

She turned around, pointing at the shooting star, wanting to share her happiness with ANYBODY who happened to be standing beside her. She knew she looked silly, but she was too distraught to take heed.

"…" Squall Leonhart blinked back and stared at her.

"It…it IS such a lovely sight…" Princess Garnet stammered. "Isn't it so…I…"

"…" Squall just looked at her.

"I am sorry…forgive me…" Princess Garnet blinked again, and fresh tears streamed down her face anew. 

Urdur had a huge sweatdrop on her head as she stood in the shadows.

"And I couldn't FIND a lovelier pair than these two dandies over here…UGH. This is going to be a VERY big headache…"


End file.
